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November 10, 2011 at 11:33 am 
Ed Brayton Here’s how Herman Cain defended himself against the sexual harassment accusations during Wednesday’s GOP presidential debate:
“For every person that comes forward with a false accusation, there are thousands that would say none of (those) activities ever came from Herman Cain.”
In related news, Charles Manson was quoted as saying, “Yeah, but what about the millions of people I didn’t kill?” And no, I’m not comparing Herman Cain to Charles Manson; I’m simply pointing out that merely because someone didn’t do something to thousands of people doesn’t mean they didn’t do it to one person, or two, or five. Those thousands of hypothetical people weren’t in the room when those alleged incidents took place, so they have no relevance whatsoever.
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Jerry Sandusky: “Yeah, but what about all the kids I didn’t molest on campus?”
Too soon?
About 12 years ago a co-worker was shot and killed a block from my office by her estranged husband. To a person, all the people who worked with the killer described him as a great guy. Of course, he never killed any of them.
Yeah, that’s an absolutely water-tight defense: I never sexually harassed any, or at least not a statistically significant number of, women.
Any further mention of the issue will be countered with: “Millions of Americans are without jobs, and you worry about less than a dozen people being sexually harassed at the workplace? Priorities, man!”
Leaked Documents Show Herman Cain Hasn’t Made Any Goddamned Sense Since 1977
AP Newswire – A series of documents recently leaked to the press reveal that GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain has consistently failed to make any goddamned sense for at least the past 34 years. The documents were leaked simultaneously from a variety of sources, from Godfathers’ Pizza to the U.S. Navy. Sources within these organizations confirmed this conclusion. “Look at this memo,” said a source within Godfathers’ who wished to remain anonymous, “it’s all about the evils of Hello Kitty, plus some stuff about Johnny Cash playing Tetris. I can’t make heads or tails of it.” A former co-worker in the Navy explained other examples from Cain’s work in ballistics. “Now look at these two lines in the calculation,” he said to the Associate Press, ” he eliminates this one term with no justification, and replaces it with a completely different expression. Then there’s an arrow to the new part labeled ‘Klingon tractor beam’.”
A spokesman for Cain was quick to respond to the leak, accusing the documents of “hating America”, adding that it was the U.S. Navy’s fault for being unemployed.
Jerry Sandusky: “Yeah, but what about all the kids I didn’t molest on campus?”
Too soon?
No.
Sexual harassers are barely a micron above child molesters in my book so this works for me.
Although it is difficult to be fair to a piece of filth like Charles Manson, in fairness, it should be pointed out that, thus far, he hasn’t been convicted of personally killing anyone.
Cain never molested me, so I guess he must be innocent.
Re Aquaria @ #5
Mr. Sandusky was, apparently, observed butt fucking a 10 year old boy. In my book, that’s a lot worse then sexually harassing someone.
What’s the equation for those that come forward with a true accusation?
Followed by another resolution to “reaffirm” “In God We Trust” as our national motto.
Herman Cain:
Mr. Cain has a become a poster child illustrating that outliers exist. In this case when it comes to achieving degrees in mathematics and computer science yet still incapable of thinking logically. He joins Bill Dembski in that pantheon of exceptional people.
I’m also becoming increasingly annoyed Mr. Cain is solely described as a business-man. His more relevant and recent work experience is that of preacher, lobbyist, motivational speaker, and talk radio host.
There are millions of jobs I don’t work at. Can I have some money now?
I tried to think up something snarky, but I think my snarkometer broke. Damn. I am at a loss.
Mr. Sandusky was, apparently, observed butt fucking a 10 year old boy. In my book, that’s a lot worse then sexually harassing someone.::::
Thanks for minimizing what sexual harassment victims go through. Nobody’s ever done that before.
:::rolls eyes:::
I’m reminded of a joke that goes something like this:
A guy gets pulled over for speeding. He tells the cop, “Why are you wasting your time stopping me? Shouldn’t you be hunting down some murderer?”
A police officer catches a murderer, who asks, “Why are you wasting your time arresting me? I only killed one person! There are millions of people out there, speeding!”
I guess what he was trying to say is that there are many people who would vouch for Cain’s character, that he isn’t the sort who would do what he’s accused of. But he surely did a hilariously bad job of that.
Indeed – as a public figure with national exposure, this amounts to saying a fraction of one-percent of people wouldn’t believe him capable of this.
What is with him referring to himself in the third person when denying this? Isn’t that supposed to be a sign of dishonesty?
There seems to be a lot of forks being stuck into the republican candidates these days, but I don’t think Herman stood a snowball’s chance in hell of getting the nomination anyway. Can we just have the damn election early so we can see Romney and Obama go at it and cut out all the crap in between. Can anybody see any other possible outcome?
Bronze Dog @14 – I’m reminded of a different joke – the SNL sketch “You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.” Cain seems to think that “I’ve never picked my friend’s nose” is a good defense when caught picking his own. (I don’t mean to trivialize harassment, that’s just what sprung to mind.)
Re Aquaria @ #14
I’m not minimizing sexual harassment in any way, shape, form, or regard. I’m just saying that, as bad as sexual harassment is, a 10 year old boy being butt fucked by a 57 year old pedophile is a lot more serious.
It all stems from the same source, namely the patriarchal tenet that women and underage children are the property of grown men. The same attitude that enables and perpetuates child molestation likewise enables and perpetuates the sexual harassment of women.
Re Sadie Morrison @ #22
That may be, but the fact remains that a 57 year old man butt fucking a 10 year old boy is a lot more serious then the same 57 year old man copping a feel on an adult woman. The first is a very serious felony, the second is a misdemeanor assault. When it comes to sexual assault on children, I take a very hard line, including making it a capital offense.
“For every person that comes forward with a false accusation, there are thousands that would say none of (those) activities ever came from Herman Cain.”
What is he saying? For every one false accuser, there are thousands* that would say Cain hasn’t falsely accused someone else?
Nobody ever said you falsely accused someone Marko, they said you sexually harrassed your employees. Do try and keep up.
Dingo
—-
* argumentum ad populum anyone?
Aquaria, SLC – OK, both are equally scum. You two happy now?
Sadie (#22) – nice theory, got any actual evidence?
Dingo
“For every person that comes forward with a false accusation, there are thousands that would say none of (those) activities ever came from Herman Cain.”.
Hey, let’s be fair to Spermin’ Herman; granting that “thousands” could include any number up to 999,999,does he mean that there are something like 300 women out there that he’s harassed?
Ed:
“In related news, Charles Manson was quoted as saying, “Yeah, but what about the millions of people I didn’t kill?’”.
Oh, yeah? Well, guess who else said that…
Hey, I’m sorry,but that was to low hanging fruit what a pinata is to a kid with a saran wrap blindfold.
I see an ad:
A guy rides up on a sturdy warhorse with a Godfather’s pizza in his dispatch case and tells the commanding general who’s looking out over a field of hundreds of female gladiators that he has a pizza for the woman who was harassed by Hermanius Cainus. The general’s aide shouts out the news. A woman stands up and says, “I was harassed by Hermanius Cainus!”, a second woman stands up and says, “No, I was harassed by Hermanius Cainus!!”. More women stir…
The aide turns to the general and says, “M’lord, I think we will need more pizza!”.
[...] the debate came this logical fallacy from alleged sexual batterer Herman “Head for Business” Cain: For every person that comes [...]
[...] I sexually harassed them but there are thousands that will say I didn’t.” (Actual quote here.) Wow, OCC rejected some of the hand-picked people — that must mean they have approved [...]